Too Late
by Catherine Mackenzie
Summary: Harm wants to tell Mac that he's in love with her, but he's too late


Discalimers: Don't own anything  
Spoilers: Yeah, there's some in there  
The song played at the end is called 'Be still my beating heart' by  
Sting.  
  
  
  
  
  
Too late  
  
  
Harm sat in his office having a nice conversation with Mac, talking about  
nothing and everything at the same time. It had been a nice day. They won  
a big case and were replaying it in their talking. Laughs and smiled went   
between the two several times. Things were getting on track. Mic and Renne  
both had left, and just as they said, they were starting over. It was almost  
Christmas, and Harm wanted to tell Mac on Christmas day that he was in love  
with her. He had it all planed out. He had everything, down to the very last  
detail down in his mind. "So, you want to come over for dinner and a movie  
tonight? You could follow me home, and have an early dinner and catch an   
early movie. What do you say?" She smiled that smile only she could pull off.  
"I think that that sounds like the best idea you've had in a long time, Flyboy."  
It was time to go home anyway so, they started to pack up. "I'll be right back,  
I have to get a few papers, and then I'll be ready." She scooted out the door  
and dissapeared into her office. Harm was waiting for Mac at the elevators   
when Mac returned. "You ready?" Mac nodded. "Yeah." The elevator doors opened  
with a ding and Harm guided Mac in, placing a protective hand on the small of  
her back. "So, I'll see you at my place?" Harm asked, unlocking his car door.  
"Yeah. I have an over night bag in the car, so I'll change cloths when I get   
there." Harm smiled and slid in. Once on the highway, Harm kept looking in  
the review morrior for Mac's car, making sure she was okay. They got to the   
apartment just in enough time to make and eat dinner, then go strait to the  
movies. "So, Mac, what do you want to see?" She thought for a moment. "How  
about Monsters Inc.? I heard that that was a cute movie?" Harm smiled at the  
thought of a Marine Col. wanting to go see a kids show. But it wasn't so bad,  
he thought that it was kind of cute. "Sure, that sounds great. It comes on  
next at..." He listened to the recording and hung up the phone. "2000 hours.  
That gives us time to eat and get ready." Harm walked into the kitchen where  
Mac digging through. "Don't you have anything to drink around here?" She asked  
standing on her tip toes, trying to see the top shelf. Harm laughed and scooted  
her out of the way. "The top shelf is not some place for the vertically   
challenged." Playfully, she punched him in the arm. "I still out rank you  
Commander. Do you really want to be court marsheled for disresepcting a senior  
officer?" Harm brought down a Coke and a Diet Coke for her to choose. She picked  
the regular Coke. "Well, if I do, I know a good lawyer who could defend me.  
She also happenes to be me bestfriend...so, I think that she could get me off."  
They shared a laugh and shared a friendly hug. They talked through dinner,   
again about old times, from when they first met until now. Kind of like that  
night on the Admiral's pourch. "Well, Marine, you ready to go?" Harm asked  
glancing at his watch. "The show starts in 45." Mac nodded, swallowing her  
last bite of food. They walked to the car arm in arm. Harm opened Mac's door  
and shut it when he was sure she was all the way in. Luckily, the freeway   
wasn't crowded and they zipped right through. Mac flipped on the raido to catch  
the last part of one of her favorite songs. "Oh, I love this song." She turned  
it up and lipped the words along with the singger. The words sang..."I sink  
like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean, my logic had been drowned in a  
sea of emotion stop before you start, be still my beating heart." The song  
fadded and went to a commerical. "Damn, I missed it." Harm turned the volume  
down. "Who was it? I reconize the voice, but I can't place him." Harm asked  
trying to figure it out before Mac answered. "It's Sting. The song is 'Be   
Still My Beating Heart and the CD was made in '87, I believe. Anyway, I love  
that song." Harm smiled as Mac talked. "Sounds like it." They pulled into the   
theater and found a parking spot, no problem. After the tickets were bought,   
they took their seats. Mac devoured her candy before the movie even started.  
Harm shook his head and smiled into the darkness. Mac lifted the arm rest up  
and leaned into Harm. He slipped his arm around her middle and held her and  
never wanted to let go.  
  
THE WAY HOME AFTER THE MOVIE  
2145 LOCAL  
FREEWAY  
  
Still, like before, not too many people were on the road. "Harm, watch this  
guy comming up behind you, he's going pretty fast." Mac warned. Harm glaned  
in his mirrior and saw the black Sadan moving over a lane to pass them. "Mac,  
your seatbelt is on right?" Even though it was, Mac checked to make sure.   
"Yeah." The car passed never slowing down. That's when the unthinkable happened.  
The driver of the other car lost controll and spun right in front of Harm.   
Trying to avoid hitting the car, Harm stomped on the breaks, but it was too  
late. The driver's side of the car smashed into the front of Harm's. The last   
that Harm heard was Mac scream out his name. The cars collided with a loud  
crash. Steam from the engines rose and all was still. For what was only seconds  
but seemed like hours, Harm, Mac and the driver all lay still. Harm was the   
to move. Not caring for his own injuries, he moved to Mac. "Mac, are you okay?"  
He recived no answer. "Oh, God, Mac, you have to be okay." He reached for her   
neck to check for some sign of life. He found a weak one. "Mac, hang in there.  
I'm ganna get you help, okay?" From his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone.  
He diled 911, panic rising with every ring. "911 do you have an emergancy?"  
The operator asked, sounding as if she didn't even care why someone would be  
calling. "Yes, I've just been in a car accident. I'm not that hurt, my friend  
is though. She has a weak pulse, I don't know how long she's going to make it.  
The driver in the other car isn't moving, I haven't checked him out yet." Harm  
stopped to breath. "Sir, can you go check on the other driver?" By this time,  
the man stepped out of his car. "He's fine, he walking up to my door. Just get  
here hurry." Harm stepped out of the car and walked to the other side where  
Mac lie still. "Sir, I have people on the way." Harm opened Mac's door with  
a hard yank. "Here, talk to the other guy, I need to take care of my friend."  
Harm turned around to see the guy walking up. "Hey, is she okay?" The man asked.  
Harm turned back towards Mac. "I don't know." He whispered. "Mac, wake up.  
Come on Ninja Girl, you've got to wake up." Harm pleaded. The ambulance was   
there shortly. "We've got to get this woman to a hospital now." The young medic  
yelled. "I'm comming with her." Harm ordered. The young medic looked up as if  
to object, but saw the look in Harm's eyes, and kept his mouth shut. They  
worked like ragged dogs trying to catch all the cats. Non-stop did they work.  
  
  
Bethesda Naval Haspital  
2222 local  
  
  
The entire JAG team was there waiting for news on Mac. She had been in there  
for almost an hour. Harm maintained the tears when everyone showed up. Though  
his eyes were red, no one said a thing; mainly for the soul reason that they  
all wanted to cry, also. The waiting was killing everyone, but no one felt   
the pain that was running through Harm's viens. He had the worst torture,  
for her blood was stained in his shirt and hands. The sweet smell of her body  
ran through his sences. He held his head in his hands, praying that she's   
make it out okay, praying that she wasn't hurt. Just praying brought tears  
to his eyes. He squezzed them shut as hard as he could, still the salt water  
slipped through whatever crack his eye lids created. Roughly, he wiped them  
away. He looked up just in time to see the doctor come from behind the doors.  
The group shared a dead silence. It screamed in all their ears as the doctor  
made his final desend into the waiting area. "How did it go?" AJ spoke for  
everyone. Asking the question that no one wanted to ask and was afraid of the  
answer. "I'm sorry. There was nothing that we could do. She had massive   
internal bleeding and there was no way that we could have saved her in time."  
Harm stood up and walked over next to AJ. "Can I ask you one thing?" He asked  
trying to keep his voice from giving out. The doctor nodded. "Did...did she  
suffer?" He doctor took a deep breath. "She was in a lot of pain, Sir. Her   
body just couldn't take it anymore." The man knew that that wasn't the answer  
that he wanted to hear, but he couldn't lie. Webb, who was standing on the   
other side of Harm gently squezzed his shoulder. Webb lead Harm to an abandoned  
corner of the hospital. "I can't believe she's gone, Clay. I can't..." He faded  
off, finally giving into the tears. Being the friend Clay was, but never showed,  
he took Harm in his arms and held him until his cries stopped. For now Harm   
composed himself, but the worst was yet to come. He dried his eyes and looked  
at Clay. "Why did it have to be her who got hurt, Clay?" He whispered. "I don't  
know." Harm walked to where everyone one was standing and took a seat back in  
the chair. The doctor was still standing there, talking about something.  
Harm again got up and walked up beside AJ. "Can I see her one last time?"   
His eyes pleaded. Quietly Harm followed to where they were keeping his love.  
Once he was alone, did he again break down. Taking her cold, limp hand in his,  
he began to talk to Mac. "Hey Marine...I just...just wanted to tell you that  
I'm in love with you...and that I always have been...I was going to tell you  
Christmas day, but...Hey I remember that song that we listened to on the way  
to the theater. You know the one by Sting? I thought that I'd give you one  
last performance, even though it's not by Sting, I thought that I's be the  
next best thing." He dried his tears, cleared his voice and began to sing  
to the body of his bestfriend, and the love of his life.  
  
  
"Be still my beating heart  
It would be better to be cool  
It's not time to be open just yet  
A lesson once learned is so hard to forget  
Be still me beating heart  
Or I'll be taken for a fool  
It's not healthy to run at this pace  
The blood runs so red to my face  
I've been to every single book I know  
To soothe the thoughts that plague me so  
  
I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean  
My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion  
Stop before it starts  
Be still my beating heart  
  
Restore my broken dreams  
Shattered like flying glass  
I'm not ready to be broken just yet  
A lesson once learned is so hard to forget  
  
  
Be still my beating heart  
You must learn to stand your ground  
It's not healthy to run at this pace  
The blood runs so red to my face  
I've been to every single book I know  
To soothe the thoughts that plague me so  
  
Stop before you start  
Be still my beating heart  
  
Never to be wrong  
Never to make promises that break  
It's like singing in the wind  
or writing on the surface of a lake  
And I wriggle like a fish caught on dry land  
And I struggle to avoid any help at hand  
  
I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean  
My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion  
Stop before you start  
Be still my beating heart"  
  
A few more tears dripped onto his cheek as he looked at the lifeless body  
that was just a few hours ago laughing and having a good time. "I just wanted  
to tell you that I love you, and that I'm too late." Against her body he broke,  
his tears flowing like water from a broken dam. 


End file.
